1. Brother: “What is that piece of music”? Me: “It’s not music, it’s the @boagworld podcast”. Brother: “Whats’s that?” Me: “It’s some middle-aged men talking about web design” Brother: “NOOOOOOOOOOOO”

  2. My mum’s deputy head of a 6th form. Her head teacher sent a package back to my dad marked “Do not open”. It was a dead rat.