6 Secrets your Server would never tell you

Parody of the waiters one.

(Parody of this)

What would two dozen servers from across the country tell you if they could… er… speak? Well, for starters:

XKCD The Cloud

Image Credit: http://xkcd.com/908/ (As if you didn’t know that)

What we lie about

  • You know that thing in webmin where you can back stuff up… yeah… about that…
  • We’re not allowed to tell you we’re out of memory, so we delete your backups or any file you haven’t moved for a while and use it as virtual memory

What you don’t want to know

  • If we get a mouse nesting near us, we’ll run processor-intensive benchmarking software to keep it nice and warm

What drives us crazy

  • Every time you run free it tickles
  • Sexy unix commands. They feel so disgusting.

How to be a good user

  • sudo aptitude upgrade